Something Saffurical

June 9, 2009

Stomach Butterflies

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — Saff @ 10:54 pm

It’s getting closer and closer to when I fly off to see my girlfriend again. Finally after 3 months. Everyone said time would fly by, but really, it felt like time was on a light jog. Not even a run. But no matter, I fly off this weekend to see her and I honestly cannot wait. But what is this funny feeling that I have? Something similar to fluttering butterflies in my stomach? Can it be that I am scared? Why yes. Yes indeed I am a bit nervous. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in a few months. I think I am just a tad bit scared. Even thought people have reassured me that everything will be fine. That everything will be great. I’m just really good at asking what if’s. Kind of a gift really. I’m actually doing pretty well with not wondering too much this time. We still have perfectly normal conversations on the phone for the most part. Just the last few times were missing two or three words at the end of our conversations that make me…think too much. There really is nothing to worry about if I think about the type of person my girlfriend really is. Maybe she was in too public of a space when we last talked. Who knows. I just need to stop thinkin about it, go to bed, and be ready for the weekend to come.
Just for kicks… I love you, babe.

March 5, 2009

Your Smile When It Rains

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Saff @ 3:17 pm

Your Smile When It Rains

The rain is blowing outside.
Swaying leaves and branches. The pool oscillates
Cyan blue spills over onto grey concrete
soaked in the earth’s tears.
I sniffle my nose
smothered by the smell of wet dirt.
I can’t breathe without opening my mouth in awe…
The thunder drums and fills my ears
If only you were here to hold me now.
Only four seconds ago there was a flash of light
how close is that?
one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand,
the thunder is loud.
the bass rumbles through the speakers
vibrating my heart strings
made of cat gut resonate so nicely against the wood grains
running so smooth along the neck
across the back
Like a tiger’s shoulders
arching as she stalks her dinner
quietly in the tall, tan grass
so dry against my hands they crinkle and crack when I bend them
snapping into little pieces between my fingers before I toss them in your hair.
You think I am so immature
but one day…
one day I’ll show you that I can do more than take care of myself.
I don’t cower as much when the thunder comes.
but I’d still like for you to hold me.
because the rain is blowing outside,
ripples are breaking the pool below your window,
and I’m watching with my hands pressed against the cold glass,
wide eyed,
the world fogging over as I breathe.

December 15, 2008

Never One Foot on the Ground

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Saff @ 10:30 am

Ah. Finals are finally over. On to winter break…where I get to work 8 hours a day at school for the next week. *sigh*

And on top of that, girlfriend has gone away for the break. Shh, I can’t tell you where she’s gone because she’s a top secret super sexy spy hehe.

Oh well. It’s not so bad. I’m working more hours than usual, so more money. yay. I need to make up for all that I spent over Thanksgiving break and then all the money I’m about to spend over Christmas break. And there’s people I can chill with at work. And some of my sorority sisters are still here. So at least there are still people here to hang out with. Just not used to not having her around. Especially sleeping in an empty bed. It’s weird.

This is kind of how I’ve been feeling since last night. heh. But I’ll get over it. Anyway, I’m hoping to finally hook my computer up to girlfriend’s printer so I can scan my doodles again. I’ve been getting more and more encouragement about the whole web-comic thing. I think I should do a collaborative one in case I run out of ideas or whatever heh. I don’t know if I can keep up a consistent flow of good doodles. I just get sporadic inspiration now and then.

“I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground”

…cept it’s more like:

I’ve never loved nobody fully ’til now.
She took me with both feet off the ground.

Ai ya. I can’t wait until she’s back.

What am I going to do when she leaves for New Zealand for four months…

December 4, 2008

Not Yet a Housewife

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Saff @ 3:30 pm

At 4:30 in the morning I finally finish my first draft of my 12 page Language, Gender, and Society paper. Went to bed. Got up at 8/9 ish to work on it some more. Skipped my first two classes to get it all done.

So one paper done. One more take home test to go. One more linguistics paper to write. Two more linguistics finals to study for. And one History of Jazz class to cram for.

However, I am still considering the housewife career…
Although I did get a nice breakfast in bed from my lovely girlfriend. =) I wouldn’t mind cooking one for her next time.

I cannot wait until I am done with my finals. Actually just my linguistics ones, cause after that I’m pretty much homefree!!! Except I’m working the first weekand few days of winter break. 8 hours a day. woot. Gotta make me some money for the holiday season. Or really just make up for all the money I already spent over Thanksgiving break haha.

So back to stressing out. But before I go…

Sorry I took so long Betsy!!!

November 12, 2008

In a Mood for Destruction

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Saff @ 11:24 am

There’s a little figurine sitting at this desk and I really just want to break off its limbs.

What’s going on?!

I’ve been feeling so weird lately. Kind of depressed, or just constantly too worried about my relationship with her. And I can’t remember past this last weekend.

She was gone this weekend for a tournament. I dropped her off. Then didn’t really see her or talk to her too much. So yea, I missed her. She came back Sunday night and was in a weird mood because of the tournament. And since then it seems a little like, she didn’t miss me/isn’t very happy about having me around, but also doesn’t want me not around either. I don’t think that makes any sense. I can’t really speak for her. But she’s always tired and not in such a good mood when we are together, but I’ve seen her able to perk up for other people. Also quite happy when drunk. I dont’ know. I still feel like I miss her even though I am seeing her every day. Things just feel kind of different right now. And I can’t put my finger on it.

Maybe I’m just thinking about it too much. I just don’t feel like she’s as happy to see me anymore as I am to see her. I miss her smile and her laugh. And I don’t know what to do.

August 25, 2008

No Need to Wonder Why

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Saff @ 3:15 pm

I am so lucky and spoiled. I have this amazing girlfriend, who is working crazy 10-12 hour days, but she still drives at least an hour from where she works/lives to spend some time with me. And then she’ll wake up 4-5 in the morning to go back to work.

When I sit back and look at this, I see that there really is no reason for me at all to worry or wonder if she likes me or not. Not that I worry about that much at all. It’s mostly the coming fall quarter that I’m thinking too much about. But I need to start living in the present anyway.

This chick is amazing if she’s willing to commute so much for a girl like me. I’m so lucky to have her. I’m so happy I do.

Look how happy I look!

I started thinking about writing this entry because I’ve been feeling emo about stuff. Missing her. Wondering what it’s going to be like when she comes back. Just being anxious in general about things I shouldn’t be thinking about right now. (Also I’m kinda bored at work =P) But I guess this entry did exactly what I needed. It killed time =P, and I’m remembering how lucky I am to have her and that she does like me. Enough to make that crazy commute more often than she really needs to be doing it. So I really need to stop thinking too much. Miss her, but not obsessively. And just enjoy life.

August 21, 2008

Holding Hands

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Saff @ 11:09 am

(So picking up this blog in the middle of my life)

There are three reactions we get from people when my girlfriend and I are walking down the street holding hands.

  1. No reaction. Cause these people are awesome.
  2. Averted/disgusted looks. From the people who kind of mutter to each other and herd their children away from us. (kay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little…)
  3. And then we get the really creepy, huge smiles from people who are trying to show support? Or whatever. But are just really creepy with their huge smiles.

Okay, so I guess it’s nice that they are trying to show their support, but wouldn’t you find it a little weird if someone gave you a huge, creepy smile for, say…, supporting Obama or something? I don’t know. Anyway, I didn’t really notice these reactions actually until my girlfriend brought it up. I’m just kind of oblivious to everything else when I am with her. =P

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